Introduction

I'm Lively Lily. I've never done this before, but I've written all my life and I'd like for someone to know what I've been through. I'm not looking for pity or anything of that sort, just need to get my story out.

It starts I guess, with a dead fish. I stand, glaring into the tiny one gallon tank searching for the neon yellow fish I had gotten just a month before that had seemingly disappeared. A mighty feat indeed for the small tank with nothing in it but some stones, a pump, and a plastic plant. My immediate assumption is that the fish is dead. Upon announcement of my fish’s death to my parents, they both rush into my room, and continue to stare and search in the miniscule tank for the next twenty minutes, as if I don’t have the brainpower to determine on my own that indeed the fish is dead. This is such a typical reaction for my mom and dad, to treat me as though I can’t draw my own conclusions, and so they have to confirm for themselves what I say is true. I can feel the anger bubbling then boiling inside of me, so I do what I’ve always done, I run outside, no shoes, no phone, just pure anger, trying to walk out the feelings inside of me. I walk a long time, and as I calm down I come to the realization that I never want to walk back into my house again. It’s a hot July day, and I’m getting blisters on my feet from walking on the asphalt too long, but I don’t care, because I’m making a dream that I’ve been dreaming of for my entire life come true.

At this point I’ve walked the whole block, and I can barely walk. I hobble to a neighbor’s house just a few homes to the right of my own. I ask to borrow his phone and dial the number of my fiancé’s house. My heart is pounding through my ears as I ask for Abe’s dad to pick me up, and explain that I am running away from home. This is the first of a series of heart-pounding decisions, none of which will be easy. The 30 minute wait to be picked up is nerve-wracking, the entire time I’m expecting my dad to rush up to the stoop that I’m perched upon and tear me away in a fit of rage. Luckily that doesn’t happen. Instead my neighbor tries to engage me in conversation as it’s obvious I’m nervous and scared. As I explain parts of the situation to him, and he tries to do what any person would do to a scared kid running away from home without knowing the background, he tells me that my parents were probably trying to do what they thought was best for me, this only confirms to me even more that I don’t belong at home any more. My parents don’t do what’s right by me; they’ve proven it time and again.

Abe’s mom and dad drive up to the house and I jump into the backseat. As we drive back to their house everything I’ve been holding in from the world for three years comes spilling out. I explain that since I was about seven till 2 weeks before my 16^th birthday, my brother was raping me, that when I told my parents just before my 16^th birthday they covered it up, acted like it didn’t happen. My brother continued to live with us, and I was expected to deal with it without ever talking to anyone about it because then my brother would go to jail. I told how my parents are in a loveless marriage, so absorbed with the misery created by them, they don’t see anything else. That the only thing I’ve ever dreamt of is escaping the hellhole I live in, because every day is torture and sadness in that house. And so slowly, mile by mile I was driven from a house, to a home.

These days I'm living with my fiance's family. I'm about to testify to a Grand Jury on Thursday. I'm scared, but at the same time ridiculously proud of myself. In just a few months I've managed to pull together money and support so I can continue my educational ambitions.