Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Modern Romance
Sorry guys, this is gonna be waaaaaaaay off topic from my last post. So yesterday I was having a discussion with my soon to be mother-in-law and expectations for romance. Specifically she was talking about how she wished her son was the kind of man who was a classic romantic. I think we can all see where this is going, well he isn't. But that doesn't mean I don't love him or don't appreciate the fact that he'll run home while hanging out with his friends just cause he knows I'm upset. The spark of this whole conversation was that he never got me a ring and isn't planning to. It's not something I mind, and as time has gone on I've grown proud of the fact that I'm in a relationship that isn't defined by a piece of jewelry. That's not to say that like every girl I don't imagine rose petals, candles, or a romantic setting every once in a while, but you have to lower your expectations a little sometimes, especially when it's the person you care about not the stuff. So what do you think? Am I setting my expectations a little too low? Is romance in the modern life different? Does it matter at all as long as you love the person?
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My feeling is that, if he loves you, he will make some adjustments too. I don't know how old he is, but he may be too young to make a commitment. A ring is a tangible sign that he understands your need for not just romance, but security and safety.
ReplyDeleteI know your life has been extremely difficult, and much of that involves betrayal of the worst kind. I would be cautious. Your fragility, even though you have proven yourself very strong, needs to be assured of his ability to love and nurture you.
Just take it easy... keep your heart open and take your time.
Romance is a natural process in love. It doesn't' have to be overblown, but it needs to be there.
I'm old, I know, but if you start a relationship by lowering your expectations, you may have to continue that process over and over..
sigh.. but what do I know..
He has proven himself patient, wonderful, kind, and there for me through this entire process. We've been together 4 years, and engaged 1, maybe I was just letting off a little steam about having no ring since I get asked about it nearly every time I tell someone I get engaged. Thanks for your guidance, and for actually reading, it's nice to know I'm making an impact even if it's one person.
ReplyDeleteHe sounds great... you certainly must know him after 4 years... so here's the answer.. anytime someone asks you "where's the ring", just look stunned and say "there's supposed to be a ring? Damn... it must be around here somewhere".. then pat your pockets and look all around and say "nope"..."Oh well, I never COULD get anything right " (grin).... that's my kind of answer to questions that are no one's business ha!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah... and I have traveled all over this country for more than 42 years, mostly alone... I also play guitar, a little fiddle, hammered dulcimer, piano and pretty much anything with strings.. good to meet a fellow musician and travel lover.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I love the strings, I haven't traveled much yet, but I will. And I love your suggestion about the ring! I'm going to try it the next time someone says something.
ReplyDelete